On being… An International student

Over my years of working with the expat community, I've been privileged to guide numerous international students on their academic journeys abroad.

In this blog, I aim to delve into five prevalent challenges faced by these students and provide coping strategies. The goal is to empower students to navigate these challenges effectively, enabling them to make conscious decisions aligned with their values.

Managing Culture Shock:

International students face the initial challenge of culture shock, experiencing symptoms like sadness, isolation and helplessness. This profound experience can trigger a grieving process as students mourn the temporary loss of connections to family and friends, along with the familiar surroundings of home.

The grieving process often leads students to isolate themselves, delving into narratives crafted by the "Rooted Mind." These stories intertwine memories of home with aspects of the new environment that provoke irritation, frustration and anger.

To address culture shock, the first step involves reflecting on the goals whilst studying abroad, spanning social exploration and the academic experience. The trigger for profound sadness often lies in memories of home, a topic explored further in managing homesickness.

Irritation and frustration may arise from various sources in the host country, often encapsulated in "should statements" like "They should be more welcoming" or "They shouldn't treat me this way."

My work then moves into the 4-step Change Process, designed to facilitate transformation. In dealing with anger, the initial step, Focus Reset, is crucial to create distance between the Rooted Mind and the "Conscious Mind," housing kindness, wisdom, logic and values. This separation is vital to prevent unhelpful behaviour influenced by the Rooted Mind.

Following Focus Reset, the second step involves cultivating self-compassion. When Acknowledging the need for kindness, when dealing with anger, consider how a compassionate figure in your life might respond to feelings of frustration and anger.

Step 3, Reframing, encourages a conscious assessment of broken rules, often hidden like landmines until triggered. The three options are retaining them, tweaking from "I should..." to "I wish...," or discarding altogether. For instance, a student I worked adjusted his rule from "He shouldn't be so distant" to "I wish he was more available," in respect of his supervisor.

Reframing concludes with the 5-minute question, guiding individuals to take immediate action or shift focus to avoid rumination. This sets the stage for the fourth and final step, Mindful Valued Living, crucial for aligning actions with the mission abroad.

Mindful Valued Living encompasses goals for study abroad, including exploring the area, making new friends and continuing learning. Alongside geographical values-based activities, it's helpful for students to anchor themselves in familiar actions like reading, sports and connecting with friends and family for a sense of normality.

Navigating Homesickness and Anxiety:

Homesickness plays a poignant role in the international student community, manifesting as anxiety, sadness and anger, leading to challenges like lack of motivation and disruptions in sleep and eating patterns.

Addressing homesickness involves managing sadness and grief. Overcoming these emotions requires time and self-compassion. Granting oneself the kindness to acknowledge and say, "it's okay to feel sad" becomes a pivotal affirmation. Interestingly, those finding self-compassion challenging are often adept at exhibiting kindness towards others.

An invaluable tool is the support group metaphor. If you are an international student grappling with homesickness, envision participating in a support group with peers who share similar stories. Contemplate your response—would it be one of condemnation or kindness? Write down your responses, reflect and practice embracing those compassionate words. This exercise serves as a gateway to cultivating self-compassion, the first step toward taking actions to reach your goals.

Moving into managing anxiety, a common issue for international students, social isolation and loneliness come into focus.

Overcoming Social Isolation and Loneliness:

Social isolation and loneliness are prevalent challenges for international students and pose a daunting obstacle, especially for those grappling with social anxiety.

Delving into the narratives spun by the Rooted Mind, we identify beliefs starting with the troubling phrase, “I worry that...” Common concerns include fears of failing to form connections, judgment, and being misunderstood.

To unravel this tapestry of worry, we initiate the 4-step Change Process. Starting with Focus Reset, we intentionally create space between the Conscious Mind and the Rooted Mind. A dose of self-compassion becomes crucial, recognising anxiety as a natural emotion.

Moving into Reframing, we reconnect with motivations for forming connections. Clients articulate reasons like making the most of their experience and finding study buddies. This prompts contemplation on preferred actions in a world without anxiety, exploring not just how they feel but how they aspire to behave.

Practical considerations arise, addressing where to meet new people. Another valuable tool involves pondering how you would perceive someone who was distant and rude. Would you want to befriend that person?

The final Reframing action is the 5-minute question, prompting either immediate action or shifting focus to avoid rumination. This leads to the fourth and concluding step—Mindful Valued Living.

Mindful Valued Living, a pivotal aspect for international students, will be explored further as we turn our attention to the next challenge—academic expectations.

Balancing Academic Expectations:

Amid the academic journey, expectations from family, friends, the academic institution and personal aspirations create a drive for perfectionism within some international students. This resonates deeply, intertwined with a desire to embrace a new environment.

Responding to those expectations involves a key mantra: "Change the things you can change, except the things you can't." This perspective helps guide compromises with the wisdom and values of the Conscious Mind.

A useful tool involves prompting students to envision returning home for the last time, encouraging contemplation on time allocation between academic pursuits and exploration. The "Mirror Test" questions choices, ensuring actions align with personal values.

Reframing becomes crucial for fostering rational, realistic and healthy thinking, especially in the academic realm. Consider planning, organisation, and other tools to enhance workflow.

Mindful Valued Living takes centre stage, guiding individuals to undertake meaningful, values-based activities. This prompts reflection on the significance of studying to the student and whether academic pursuits inspire action in the face of anxiety.

In this pursuit, the ACE Log becomes a valuable tool, tracking engagement in values-based activities. ACE, representing Achievement, Closeness to others, and Enjoyment, serves as a compass for a balanced and fulfilling academic experience.

For practical use, a linked copy of the ACE Log is provided. For a deeper exploration of Mindful Valued Living, the relevant podcast episode, "On Being Good Enough," is linked below.

Overcoming Language Barriers:

In the array of challenges for international students, language barriers stand out—whether academic or social.

Academically, hurdles include difficulties in understanding lectures, writing essays and navigating exams in a new language. The struggle extends to social encounters, where linguistic differences may lead to isolation. Even in English-speaking countries, like the United Kingdom, cultural disparities and local dialects can create social language barriers.

Addressing language barriers involves revisiting goals, guided by the mantra "change what you can, accept what you can't." Reconnecting with the motivation to overcome linguistic hurdles is crucial, whether driven by a desire to learn the language or engage with the local community.

Exploring actionable steps is imperative, such as joining language exchange groups or clubs for heightened language exposure. Recognising that language proficiency impacts social connections underscores the importance of seeking support.

Confronting language barriers in the realm of international student experiences becomes an opportunity for growth and connection.

In conclusion, we've reflected five prevalent challenges, offering a toolkit for to help overcome them. If you or someone you know is grappling with these issues, feel free to reach out for support on this journey.